Brian and Christmas

Tonight after his bath, Brian laid in his bed and asked for songs. So we sang the usuals, and then I asked him if he wanted Christmas ones. Of course since Oma and Grandpa got him the movie Rudolph, it is his favorite, so we started with that one. Then I proceeded to sing him "O' Come All Ye' Faithful." This is the conversation that ensued...

B: Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. I want Rudolph again.
Me: Shhh baby, we are singing a song about baby Jesus.
B: Why? What's wrong with baby Jesus? Is he sick?
Me: No, we sing about baby Jesus because he is the reason why we celebrate Christmas. Christmas was the day Jesus was born, so we are celebrating his birthday.
B: It's not Christmas yet Mommy, it's Christmas SEASON. (this is from us explaining the difference between the season and the actual holiday, as he thought EVERY day that the Christmas tree and lights are up is Christmas)
Me: But it will be Christmas honey, tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and then the next day is Christmas.
B: Who is baby Jesus? (I have answered this question on numerous occasions since last Christmas but it is all a hard concept for a 3 year old. It's a hard concept for many adults! So as I like to say at work- repetition, repetition, repetition)
Me: Baby Jesus is God's only son.
B: What's God?
Me: God is our Father (again, difficult concept given that I just told the boy that Jesus is God's only son. Fortunately, at 3, we didn't catch that one....) he watches us all from above.
B: Up there? (pointing at the ceiling)
Me: Yes way up there.
B: God can't sit on the Christmas tree Mommy. It's prickly. It will give him pricklies.
Me: You are right honey (trying not to laugh), God can't sit on the Christmas tree, I don't think he will though he is WAY up high.
B: And where is baby Jesus?
Me: He is up high too baby, they are both watching over all of us.
B: (grins) Is baby Jesus in your belly?
Me: (laughing) No Brian, baby Jesus is not in my belly, your baby sister is in my belly.

And there was my annual attempt to explain the meaning of Christmas to a toddler. I have to say this was a better response to my slightly out of tune rendition of "O' Come All Ye' Faithful." Just a few days ago when I sang it to him in the car (after about 5 other Christmas songs he liked well enough) he started howling. Maybe it was more than slightly out of tune....
Merry Christmas to everyone, may God bless you with health and happiness this Christmas, and every day of the New Year.

Big Brother

Brian is going to be a phenomenal big brother. What a sensitive, loving, and caring child he is. He insists on giving hugs and kisses, and blowing kisses to everyone (well, really other than Daddy, it's just the ladies-he has already perfected the art of flirting, that's for sure!). Brian has really taken to talking to the baby. The baby of course talks back, through me- in a slightly higher pitched voice. It's so cute though, he has whole conversations with her. Tonight we were on our way to Shanna's from the Mall, and he gave her a blow-by-blow update.
Brian: Hey Baby, we are leaving the mall now. It's cold, I am cold, are you cold too?
Baby: No, Mommy's belly keeps me warm.
Brian: We are going over to Ms. Shanna's now, we are going to have cake for Cameron's birthday and we are going to play with Cameron. And Jordan. And Peyton. Do you like cake baby?
Baby: I like whatever Mommy eats.
Brian: No babies don't like cake, they can only drink milk. And when you are hungry, you are going to cry to tell Mommy and Daddy you need milk. (Brian has learned this from his Big Brother book I got him and is very proud of his new-found baby knowledge.)
Baby: That's right Brian.
Brian: When you are born and you are bigger, I am going to hold you. I will be so excited.

Brian also insists that she is not my baby. She is not even OUR baby. She is totally his. On the way home tonight he asked if he could name his baby Layla. I told him that Jacob's new baby sister's name is Layla so we should probably think of a different name (Jacob is his BFF, he just loves him and Layla too already!) I asked him if he wanted to help Mommy and Daddy name the baby. He agreed so I told him the name that I love and am leaning towards and he said "No, I don't like that. That would be silly." So here were his suggestions, in the order he submitted them to me.
"Martha" (after a dog in a PBS cartoon no less)
"Number 1"
"Number Square"
"Number Triangle"
"Star"
"Moon"
And my suggestion for a name was silly??? I suppose Star might work as a middle name, but with my top contender name, it would sound a little too close to a stripper name. So maybe we will have to relieve him of his baby naming duties. It's amazing to me how much he loves her (and expresses he loves her) already. It's really very moving. She is going to be one lucky little girl, to have such a wonderful big brother. And I am one lucky mother, bursting with pride.

What would, and wouldn't you, do for your child?

Honorable mother? Did she do the right thing? I read this article and it disturbed me. I am willing to do anything for my children, but I think I draw the line here. Yes the juror was wrong but the mother's actions make me wonder if her son learned his criminal, "shady" tendencies from her. Note to my children...when you make the decision as an adult to live a life of crime and then take another human life, all bets are off, I will not fight tooth and nail for you. I would hope to never have to experience that though. Enough rambling, here is the link to the article.

http://news.aol.com/article/convicts-mother-digs-up-dirt-on-juror/268659

Yippee!!

Just a quick one to say everything went great at the ultrasound yesterday! She is developing completely normally and is actually a little ahead of her estimated gestational age, so that is great news!! They did not find any red flags or any other markers for Down's Syndrome so we did not opt to do the amnio. First time we have left an ultrasound this pregnancy not feeling like we had the weight of the world on our shoulders, we actually felt good and optimistic and ready for anything! Our risk assessment has not changed, but we feel very confident now that all is well, and if there are some challenges, so be it.
We got the cutest 3D ultrasound pictures as well, so tomorrow I will dust off our scanner and put them up here. Our baby girl is such a diva already...
Thanks so much for all the well wishes, thoughts, prayers, phone calls, listening ears through all of this, and encouraging comments~ it feels nice to be supported!

Speaking of sleeping...

Something tells me that I am not going to sleep well tonight. Rational or not, I am nervous about the ultrasound. I really want to come out of it excited and happy, I don't want a repeat of my last ultrasound where afterwards I sat in the bathroom and cried for ten minutes. I don't want to have to do the amnio, I am hoping that the ultrasound can give us enough information that we can feel like the amnio is not necessary.
And then I feel guilty, and hypocritical. I am praying that this pregnancy is normal, that our baby is fine- with no medical, physical, or cognitive problems. But how can someone who has spent so many years working with and for people with disabilities be praying that her child is "normal"? Especially when I believe that people with disabilities are as normal as anyone else- just with different challenges to contend with. Does it make me a horrible person to not want my child to have to face those challenges? I feel like this is all making me really question my attitudes and beliefs. I want to continue to be an effective advocate for people, to help others understand that regardless of the differences we can and can't see in others we are all equal, and that ALL people deserve the same respect, rights, opportunities, responsibilities, and connections to the community. I DO believe this with every fiber of my being, but shouldn't I be less stressed about the possibility of Down's Syndrome because of it?
Sigh. I just want everything to be OK. I am not a very religious person, but I do believe that at this point, all I can do is pray and put it all into God's hands. He has not led me through anything I couldn't handle thus far. And I have seen some trying times and have had some significant losses in my adult life. I may not have been able to find the meaning in each situation, but I made it through and am sure in some respect am a stronger person because of it. Whatever the outcome, God has His reasons and sees the "bigger picture," if you will. I just have to be accepting of that.

Bedtime Woes

All of a sudden, bedtime has become a source of drama for us. This has been coming on slowly and now here we are. In the land of tears, snot, excuses and exaggerations to prolong bedtime, and drama, drama, drama. Brian went to bed an hour and 15 minutes ago and is still awake up there. He has been re-tucked in about 10 times, has told me that he needs to go potty twice (and to his credit, he did pee both times), I have laid down with him twice, he and the baby had a conversation, and he has come up with about 5 excuses as to why he can not go to bed right now, or why I need to come up immediately. Here are some of things we hear him calling to us over the monitor...

• "I need help" (me: what do you need help with?) "well....come here mommy I have to show you" (me: no, I am calling your bluff)
• "My feet are untucked. Put them back under the blanket."
• "The wind is too loud, it's scaring me." (OK when the wind is blowing, not OK on a night like tonight- one that is completely still)
• "I miss you Mommy, I need hugs"
  
• "I don't want my doggie in my bed (stuffed doggie), come get him out"
• "I have to go potty" (ironically we are perfectly potty-trained at bedtime)
• "My belly's empty, I'm hungry, I need to eat something"
• "I'm so sick, I need medicine"

Sometimes it is amusing to hear what he's going to come up with next. And then sometimes it's a little aggravating. Like tonight...I am exhausted, I have a tooth that is killing me, and I'm stressed out- this does not put me in any kind of mood to go up and down the stairs 20 times.
And now he is FINALLY asleep. At 1opm. From an 8:30pm bedtime. Sigh.

A Cracked Bumper, a shaken Momma, and one crappy way to start the week

Today I rear-ended a van. Really hard. Not on purpose of course, I was behind the van at a yield sign about a mile from work and I watched the van start to pull into traffic and I looked to the left to make sure I was clear to go and stepped on the gas pedal only to slam into the van that decided to hesitate and not pull into traffic as I had assumed. (Holy Run-on sentence...) But it's not just any van. It's a van driven by an 80 year old man (totally not exaggerating here) who is on his way to visit his very sick wife in the hospital. So there we are on the side of the road, the older man on his way to the hospital to see his sick wife who is "not doing well", the pregnant, shaken, guilty momma (that would be me), a van with no damage, and my cracked bumper. This sweet old man insisted he was fine, the van was fine, and there was no need to call the police. I insisted that we at least exchange names and numbers, so we did that much. After I got to work I called my doctor's to inquire about whether or not I needed to be seen- I was told that I needed to go to Labor and Delivery immediately. Fortunately, my office is across the street from a hospital (and yes, this would be the same hospital that the wife of the gentleman I hit is in) so I went over, they had me under observation for about 2 hours and released me. My back and my neck are sore and I have a little bit of soreness/tenderness through my abdomen (I think from the seatbelt), but otherwise I am fine. Then after lunch, all of a sudden I start getting the visuals from a migraine and by 2pm I have a full blown migraine. I can't wait to see what the rest of the week has in store for me. Hopefully this Monday morning is NOT indicative of the rest of the week ahead of me. Especially since my ultrasound for more measurements is on Thursday. I really want good news during that appointment.
Speaking of our baby, I have gotten some good news~ I am negative for the seven most common mutations on the gene causing Cystic Fibrosis. Woo hoo!!! I did test positive for one of the TORCH infections, but fortunately what matters is WHEN your exposure was. After further tests, they determined that it was not a recent infection and that I could have been exposed to it up to a few years ago, hence having no affect on our baby. This was a BIG relief as this particular virus can cause severe mental retardation, brain defects, blindness, and deafness. Of course, it's not enough for our bubbly little genetic counselor to just give us good news and call it a day, she has to remind me that explaining the echogenic bowels does bring us back to my (and I quote) "high risk for Down's Syndrome." So we'll see what the ultrasound tells us on Thursday. We go back and forth every week about the amnio. One week we are totally set on doing it, the next we say no, no, we don't need to do it. I guess it will be a surprise....
At least I have my crazy little boy to make me laugh....

I am behind on updating my blog, I know. But I do have Thanksgiving, visitors, a sick toddler (who has in turn passed it on to his Mommy and Daddy), and a Black Friday adventure to blame it on, so I only feel a limited amount of guilty.
The Yarbrough family is busy battling a cold virus and being preggers I am fairly certain that there is nothing I can take but lozenges and lots of tea and honey. An older gentleman at my Civitan meeting this week recommended a Hot Toddie (tea, honey, lemon, and bourbon) and I said my doctor would probably agree with all those ingredients but the bourbon, to which he replied "oh the baby will be fine with a little bourbon, it's more important that you get rid of that cold." Gotta love old men. Two days later and no better, I am half tempted to take his advice, I mean age brings wisdom...so he must be right.
Feeling horrible as I arrived home from work tonight, Brian came running to the car to meet me. Which was cute in itself, but then he gives me a huge hug (Brian gives the best hugs ever, though he likes to hug your neck which starts to feel a little like a chokehold) and says "I love you Mommy, you're beautiful." Who needs cold medicine or hot toddies when you have the sweetest 3 year old ever, who repeats each word verbatim as you ask him too, and a wonderful, perceptive husband that knew his influencing his son to say this would make his wife's night. Sigh. Happiness is really very easy to find in life...I may even let Brian feed Brody (our dog) alphabet soup like he's been asking to. Brian is convinced that he just needs the letters in alphabet soup to be able to speak. This is the premise for one of his shows on PBS Kids, and if it can make Martha the dog speak, it must work for Brody. I guess I should indulge his youthful inquiry and let him try. Our baby Hope has started moving around a lot this week and really making her presence known...can life get any better? Only one thing could do it- I would be able to breathe through my nose again.

Here are some pictures to enjoy.....What's up with Santa? Some of my favorite Facebook comments on this picture:
- Santa could use some holiday cheer
- Maybe Santa's upset because the elves pee-pee'd in his Lucky Charms
- All Santa wants for Christmas is Prozac, Prozac, Prozac
Me at 20 weeks. The girls are still bigger than the belly....
Brian and his Brody. I will post a video of Brody post-Alphabet soup
experiment, pending its success....