Overcoming the fear to fly

For those that do not know me as well as others, about 10 years ago I developed a fear of flying. Me, afraid to fly? Made about as much sense as fish fearing water, birds fearing heights, a child fearing play. Having taken my first flight in 1979 and having been bitten by the traveling bug at an early age, the idea of being afraid to get on an airplane was just ludicrous. And to pinpoint that exact moment....for the last 10 years, believe me, I have tried. I have asked myself a number of questions- was it the flight where the landing gear wouldn't come out and we got 20 feet from the runway and had to take back off into the air only to have firetrucks waiting for us alongside the runway once the landing gear finally worked and we were able to land? Or was it the severe thunderstorm we flew into upon landing during another flight, one that led the plane to erupt in applause when the plane had safely landed on the ground? Or perhaps it was all the ridiculously long flights I had to weather across the Pacific to visit my parents? Whatever situation it was that triggered my fear, I have since done silly things like delaying getting on an international flight, stranding myself in LAX overnight (did you know that airlines can get you a "passenger in distress" rate for airport hotels? Yup, learned that one that trip!), refusing to take a plane back across country once I got to my destination forcing me to take the Greyhound bus from San Diego, California back to Norfolk, Virginia (for those wondering, it took 4 days and it was absolutely the most refreshing shower I have EVER taken in my life when I returned home), and generally avoiding any trip or reason that would require me to board an airplane (how does one satisfy the love and NEED to travel when one will not board a plane?).
But I am happy to report that after 3 and a half years, I got on an airplane last week. Better yet, I also utilized my return ticket and flew home at the end of my trip! I have to say that the experience was absolutely EXHILARATING!!!! It was liberating, it was freeing, it was exactly what I needed to do to release myself from the restricting chains of this fear, and to begin the process of facing other fears that may be hindering me in my life. A wise man told me that our fears are rarely actually a fear of that specific circumstance or event, but a fear of being exposed. Let me elaborate. When one has a fear of flying, it's not actually the flight or the plane that is causing that fear. It's the fear of your reaction to this event, the fear of not having control and being exposed for all to see. So do I fear being exposed? Mmmm, not sure how to answer this, I feel like I am pretty much a "what you see is what you get" kind of gal, but the not being in control TERRIFIES me. Some may go so far as to call me a control freak, and I probably wouldn't argue.
To avoid the long process of self psycho-analyzing myself, I will stop here and give myself credit (and do the little celebratory dance) for (hopefully) overcoming this fear of flying. I have gotten my wings back and can not wait for the next opportunity to fly, no, SOAR!

Weekend, Sweet Weekend....

I love a good relaxing weekend. I am happily content today, after morning errand running, a baby shower (OK, truthfully the errand running was buying the baby shower gift- I am seriously the world's worst procrastinator), a little bit of cleaning, a little bit of chatting on the phone, wonderful quality time with my favorite two boys, and celebrating that one of those little boys made it the WHOLE day with no pee accidents (well the other one made it through with no accidents as well, but at 35 it's more of an expectation than at just under 3), I smile upon our relaxing day and on our happy life! I have had my moments of sadness/frustration today- no fault of anyone- but am ending my day with an attitude of acceptance that there are certain things in life over which I have no control and I just have to believe that the Big Guy upstairs has a plan for me and our family. Whatever happens (or doesn't happen), happens (or doesn't) for a reason, even though the reason may not be explicitly clear right away. But I digress.

Sights/Pics/Thoughts from the week....
Work and Wildlife
This picture of a cute, little bunny was taken with my cell next to our garden at work. As you probably can gauge from the trees and brush our program is located on the edge of the wild. And this is where I prefer to see wildlife. In the wild. Not scurrying down the hallway, seeking refuge behind the file cabinet in my office, as occurred on Thursday. After about 10 minutes, 4 of us managed to catch the petrified field mouse and return him to the wild you see above. If only these were the only two critters we have seen. Thanks to the four birdfeeders located near the garden (and the OCD birdseed tendencies of one or two folks), it often looks like a scene from Hitchcock's The Birds out back; we have a handful of ferral cats that lay in wait for those unsuspecting birds, and some creature that looked to be a cross between a wombat and a beaver (we never figured out that one, but I am not crazy, I think it was you Alex, that saw it too, waddling through the garden...). Then there was the mountain lion, and the pterodactyl. But that's a whole other story......


The above picture was taken on morning this week, I thought it was a beautiful scene and wanted to capture it. This is how I prefer to experience my commute vs. this.....

Not sure which is worse, the ominous clouds or the miles of brake lights....

And finally, here is a shot of my babooshka at the beach, he's my happy little lark.